My boss has this recording on his phone that he picked up from the Webkins website of all places. Apparently it is what young children hear when they don’t win the game. . .or something like that. The recording is of a man who sounds like he must be sporting a cowboy hat and chaps along with his raspy voice. He simply says , “No deal, huh? OK.”
His voice has been playing over and over in my head since Dr. Rupe called the other night to tell me my progesterone level did not indicate ovulation. I wanted to say to her on the phone, “No deal, huh? OK.” {I totally wish you could hear this recording.}
So we believe this month’s verdict is no once again. I will take a pregnancy test if I do not start my cycle in a couple of days. The painful irony of my situation is that I don’t ever start on time so my heart thinks there’s still a chance. My next step is to take a drug called Provera which basically jump starts your cycle and then begin a higher dose of Clomid. Before I start that regimen, I have to know that I know that there’s no baby in there. At this point, I actually hope I am not pregnant since I partook of several adult beverages this weekend as I wallowed in my plight as a woman with PCOS. Please don’t judge me unless you’ve walked through infertility. : )
I have to admit that sorrow is knocking at my door. I keep telling him {I’m pretty sure sorrow is a dude} that he should go away and try again next month. . .although next month I’m not planning to need him.
God has been so faithful to remind me of His goodness. I see it every day in Hope’s sweet face. Our journey to her was long and rocky but it was so worth it. I have to be willing to walk that road again if I believe my family has growing to do.
I pray that whatever it is you are waiting for feels well worth the wait. Even on those days when you are not sure you can do it, cling to the hope that you have in Him for He is faithful!
Pregnant?: Tk 2, No Deal is a post from: The Pregnancy Companion